Whine Warning

I'm just going to whine for a bit here -- so I already know the "get over it replies" -- stuff them. I still have these questions -- could I have done anything differently, and remained within the guidelines of my principles, to keep these things from happening , and if so what?

The truth seems to be that one has to pretend to be totally secure and unbothered, and to not ask anything of anyone -- ever, in order to be generally liked and accepted. Allison has perfected this facade, Dede is pretty much universally loved -- and her problems are generally overlooked by most people -- except Gina and Rose, Gina is loved by anyone in her family and by anyone else who does not have to count on her being productive in office work. I am not loved -- not at all. I work hard , am student centered, do everything I know to support other staff, listen well to others in need and it just flat out does not matter.

So, Why:

were the Kopy girls so vicious and lying when I was just a little girl?

did that girl hate me so much that she wanted to pound me into the pavement?

did Jerry hate everything I did and said and ruin seven years of my life?

did Saleh lie and cheat and waste 5 years of my life?

did Bill ruin our marriage, my credit, and our home?

All my youth and beauty was wasted on three men who left me bankrupt and broken -- why would they hurt me this way? I did everything I knew to be a loving, supportive wife to each one in turn.

did other girls shun me in school, and still do? Case in point Rhonda.

did Allison throw mail under her desk for a year when other people needed it?

did Rose decide that act was just no big deal when it came to light?

is Dede extra sweet to people who I know she is really angry with?

did Holly beg me to accompany her and then treat me as an interloper?

Honestly, I do have to say "fuck it" and move on. And so I do. But it still puzzles and naggs at me. Are people just perversely vicious and lying -- or do I bring it out in them?